Sunday, December 11, 2005

The Joke’s on us.

Okay, I'm listening to one of the left-wing Limbaughs on Air America and don't you just know but a right wing nut calls up with the sky is falling and only Bush can hold it up rant. If Bush goes down you can count on being shot by a foreign sniper when you go out to get your morning paper. What is worse, is that the day Bush is incarcerated for playing war president with real cluster bombs and nifty drone aircraft, the Chinese will be in Peoria changing the God-given Wal-Mart sign to a bunch of them squiggly things they call writing. Litigation, Terrorists, and Chinese -- oh my!

While it used to be worth a giggle or two, the war on terror is a joke that is starting to wear. Even liberals haven’t wised up about it yet. I've been pondering trying to figure the source of American ignorance in the matter. I have the notion that this ignorance starts with Americans thinking that they won't die unless someone else makes them die. That is why Joe and Jane American can sit and watch Fox news about the latest subway bombing and go, "oh my God -- let's give Halliburton another 50 billion bucks!" Here's the funny part: Joe and Jane American finish off their six-pack of Bud, flick off the TV with their remote, get off their Fox watching coach, light up a Marlboro and Virginia Slim and drive 10 miles to McDonald's for supper... Eh? What you mean you don't get it?!

Okay, I'll explain. Your chance of being killed by terrorists is something less than being killed by lightning. Now, when was the last time you were struck by lightning -- let alone killed? Ha! I thought so. Now don't you think it would be funny to spend a few hundred billion dollars on a war on lightning? Wouldn't you think someone was pulling your leg even if it was hyped on Fox news?

I don't get me wrong. I'm just as happy as the next guy to smart bomb and torture dangerous people, but I like to get my money's worth. Cost benefit wise we would come off better if we smart bomb fast food joints and liquor stores, and tortured tobacco and advertising executives. But, seriously folks, I know that America is still the home of the brave, because millions of us get up every day and face the things that really kill us without giving it a second thought, or maybe even a first thought. If you are worried about being shot look around you. Statistically speaking your chances of being shot by someone you know far outweigh an encounter with a terrorist. If you are worried about chemical attack look at the tailpipe of your car, or the stuff being sprayed on your neighbor's lawn in the spring. If you are worried about biological attack, ponder your next big Mac, or your next cigarette. In point of fact we are all much more likely to die by what we eat, drink, smoke, or drive, and yet we managed to live with that every day without getting hysterical. Why get hysterical over terrorists? Tell your politicians that the joke is over -- no more money for wars on terror!

3 Comments:

Blogger SOIL-ITU said...

Wait just a sec' here!

I want an enemy I can fight, in such a way that I need only elect the correct politician (and then keep my mouth shut while more tax money is withheld from my paycheck), so somebody else will go somewhere else and actually do something! - so I don't have to.

If you want me to try to keep the folks who I know from shooting me - then I might need to be a kinder person, or maybe get involved in improving my neighborhood myself ... I can't believe you would actually leave the door open to that kind of thinking!

Also, if you are suggesting, I should try to reduce the likelihood of me dying (you know that is a whole different thing compared with me "getting killed") by driving safer, and eating in a more healthy way, and getting more exercise, and smoking and drinking less, and helping to reduce the polluting of my world's ecosystem, ad infinitum ... - Hey, that kind of stuff might require me to do something myself! I don't know just where you have been hanging out during the last 30 or 40 years, but it almost sounds like you still have a clue about the old definition of the words "self discipline". Come on - get with the times - ... sheesh!

Look - maybe I just prefer to believe my biggest enemy is people who look different than I do - and who speak a different language, and who dress differently - (yeah, some of those guys even look like they are wearing dresses!) and ESPECIALLY the enemy I must hate most vehemently - are those Cretins who have the unmitigated gall to think they can make me pay an extra dollar per gallon of the gas that rightfully belongs in MY TANK! (I am an American! - who do they think they are messin' with anyway?!)

(Btw, I am still trying to figure out how my oil ended up under their sand!)

SHEESH! again - just what is this world coming to anyway?
............

(I said the above, with tongue firmly in cheek - while exercising very little self-discipline).

-Nose_y SOIL

10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Youse dunt naw nottin bout the good ole folk heres in texus. g.w. bush is da man and youse trin ta say shame on youse or shame on youse. youse dun it. reed my pas lips. bush is yore frend so bees nice to hims orsa isa gunna hav ta hurt youse bubba

7:47 PM  
Blogger chefranden said...

Hi there, Anonymous

I'm having a bit of trouble believing you are as stupid as you make yourself out to be.

If I'm right a little evidence to the contrary would be appreciated.

chef

8:17 PM  

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