Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I wish I had a Fanner 50

Pale Rider

I’m not normally an anti-gun guy. Guns don’t kill people. Guns make it easier to kill people. Of course Guns also make it easier to kill animals and old soup cans. Guns can make a decent pry bar in a pinch too. But lets face it, guns were not invented for hunting or making holes in soup cans from a distance. Guns were used in war for quite a while before making holes in soup cans from a distance, became something more than a matter of chance. As the Constitution of the United States makes perfectly unclear, the right to bear arms has something to do with war. Soup cans aren’t mentioned.

As our illustrious President, Tricky Dick used to say, “I’m not against making holes in soup cans from a distance.” I just wanted to make that perfectly clear. I do object to gun worshipers like Gerard Valentino though. An internet friend sent me the link to Valentino’s article, which is a plea for a return to “Golden Days of Yesteryear.”

Valentino uses Pale Rider as an excuse er explanation of why everyone should pack a side arm. The movie would also make a case for packing dynamite too but Valentino fails to mention that part of the Preachers sermon.

On the surface it looks as if Valentino’s argument would hold some water. A gun in hand (all other things being equal like the ability to hit the soup can under stress instead of the old guy eating his Big Mack) is a the great equalizer! Or is it? Part of the movie myth is that when the good guy points his Peacemaker over in your direction there is no need to duck, unless you’re the bad guy. Bullets in the real world aren’t quite so selective. People under stress are not the cool markspersons, that the Preacher portrays. And, lets not forget the Preachers dynamite. I’m not going to say don’t arm yourself. However, if you do, keep in mind the term “arms-race” When you start packing a pointy stick to defend yourself, remember that it won’t be long before the other guy figures out that if his stick is longer than your stick… I guess I wouldn’t mind packing a cute little 32 in my purse, but when I have to start lugging around a .50 cal. Machine gun and its tripod, I’m going to object. Let’s open our eyes to the fact that Valentino is counting on gun control. That’s right. He is counting on the Government preventing you from using Rocket Propelled Grenades to rob his gas station, so that he can plug you with his nostalgic Peacemaker.

Let us pause here and give some thought to the reason people packed guns in the Olde West. What were people moving west doing? Oh, that’s right, they were taking land and resources away from the people that were already there. When you do that sort of thing you worry that maybe the rightful owner might decide to take his stuff back or that other robbers like yourself may turn their attention to you – no honor among thieves and all that. So you pack a gun to protect yourself from the bad guy that is out doing what you’ve already done. With that in mind, let’s consider Valentino’s closing statements.

The gun-control movement also uses their wild-west imagery to take the moral high ground in the debate over gun rights. Simply stated there is nothing moral about leaving honest people at the whim of predatory criminals. Instead, as the preacher in Pale Rider taught us it is moral and just to defend innocent people - even with a gun if necessary. Returning to such a time when innocent people could defend their own life without interference from the police or anti-gun do-gooders only concerned with filing some emotional compulsion to confiscate guns would be a step backwards for criminals and therefore a step forward for everyone else. A return to the so called wild-west should be welcomed by anyone not committed to furthering the safety and well being of robbers, rapists and murderers.

Aside from that fact that this article is an emotional appeal to gun packing, it assigns to us a morality that was sadly lacking in our ancestors. Valentino is right to a degree. Our culture does produce many predatory people. However, not very many of them use guns to achieve their ends. The good predators among us use the law. I think that you would be better off packing a lawyer.


Anonymous Mad_Gerbil said...

Who gave this guy a blog?
He shouldn't have a blog!

We need to form a new Security Force to keep an eye on this guy!

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Fanner 50 is a great toy gun of the 1950's built by Mattel and available online for about $800....I think what you really want is a Colt .45 Peacemaker-the gun the Fanner 50 was modeled after. The Fanner 50 would have 6 Shooting Shot shells and Greenie Stickem caps, but would not stop much in the way of varmints that need stoppin'....

5:27 PM  

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