Saturday, December 31, 2005

Call Me Fat


Ok, I’m fat. I know that!

I don’t care, except for putting on my shoes. Call me fat and I won’t be offended, because I am. I have this theory that people ought not to be offended by the truth about themselves.

I hate when I’m told that I’m addicted to food! Look, damn it, I’m not addicted to food – ok! What a damn fool idea! You may as well tell me I’m addicted to air. I tried to give up air once. It didn’t take very long before I was having intense withdrawal symptoms.

I don’t even like eating all that much. Eating requires getting up from my computer and doing stuff that I’m not much interested in anymore. After 20 years of cooking for a living it is sort of a been there done that thing. The same thing goes for taking a piss. Breathing I can do sitting right here, so I do it over and over again. Yet no one says, “hey you must be addicted to breathing!”

So go ahead and call me fat, but you better not tell me I’m addicted!

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