Saturday, December 24, 2005

Outrageous Statements

I thought it might be fun to answer Media Matters Most Outrageous Statements of 2005 with some more outrageous statements of my own.

Former Reagan administration Secretary of Education Bill Bennett: "[Y]ou could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down." [Salem Radio Network's Bill Bennett's Morning in America, 9/28/05]
You could have all people making more than $100,000 steralized and your resources would eventually be more equally distributed.

Pat Robertson: "If [Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez] thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it." [Christian Broadcasting Network's The 700 Club, 8/22/05]
I don’t know what everybody is upset about. Assassination and torture are fine old Christian traditions. That is, what do you expect from someone that believes in going back to the basics?

Bill O'Reilly to San Francisco: "[I]f Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. ... You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead." [Westwood One's The Radio Factor with Bill O'Reilly, 12/8/05]
I’m with Bill on this one. We haven’t done anything about the last time Al Qaeda blew up a tower or two. No reason to suspect that we would in the future either.

Bill O'Reilly, agreeing with caller that illegal immigrants are "biological weapon[s]": "I think you could probably make an absolutely airtight case that more than 3,000 Americans have been either killed or injured, based upon the 11 million illegals who are here." [Westwood One's The Radio Factor with Bill O'Reilly, 4/15/05]
I’m not sure about this. But rest assured that when American biological units invade another country illegally there will be a hell of a lot more dead then 3,000.

Rush Limbaugh: "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." [The Rush Limbaugh Show, 8/12/05]

Then Rush should join now so that he can have access to the mainstream of society.

Rush Limbaugh on the kidnapping of peace activists in Iraq: "I'm telling you, folks, there's a part of me that likes this." [The Rush Limbaugh Show, 11/29/05]
I understand Rush. There is a part of me that would like to see you skinned alive with a dull knife and a pair vice grips. Of course this would have to take place after your illegal drugs have worn off.

Ann Coulter: Bill Clinton "was a very good rapist"; "I'm getting a little fed up with hearing about, oh, civilian casualties"; "I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning." [New York Observer, 1/10/05]
I think Osama had something like this in mind. Ann and Osama must have gone to the same schools. I wonder if they dated.

Ann Coulter: "Isn't it great to see Muslims celebrating something other than the slaughter of Americans?" [Syndicated column, 2/3/05]
I’m sorry, what slaughter is she referring to?

Radio host Glenn Beck: "[Y]ou know it took me about a year to start hating the 9-11 victims' families? Took me about a year." [Premiere Radio Networks' The Glenn Beck Program, 9/9/05]
Wow, something I’m better at! It only took me 15 minutes to start hating Glen Beck.

Tucker Carlson: "Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That's Canada." [MSNBC's The Situation with Tucker Carlson, 12/15/05]
Tucker is right, Canada is sweet. And we don’t take any country seriously.

American Family Association president Tim Wildmon: Liberals "don't have the kind of family responsibilities most people have, and certainly not church responsibilities." [American Family Radio's Today's Issues, 5/11/05]
Gosh, I’m type tied. But I see that Wildmon is just as much of a pin head as he ever was. “Tim did you commission this study or did the voices tell you?”

David Horowitz on Cindy Sheehan: "It's very hard to have respect for a woman who exploits the death of her own son and doesn't respect her own son's life. ... She portrays him as an idiot." [MSNBC's Connected: Coast to Coast, 8/16/05]
I hope that David’s mom doesn’t wait ‘til he’s dead before she tells him he’s an idiot. But then we wouldn’t find Dave in a war would we?

Pat Buchanan: "Our guys" in Iraq "have got every right to have good news put into the media and get to the people of Iraq, even if it's got to be planted or bought." [MSNBC's Hardball with Chris Matthews, 12/1/05]
That’s right Pat! The people of Iraq have just as much right to be lied to by our leaders as we do! It’s what our boys and girls die for!

National Review editor Rich Lowry: Given EPA-mandated "small-flush" toilets, "[h]ow is it possible to flush a Quran down the toilet?" [Young America's Foundation speech, 8/5/05]
They did studies using Gideon Bibles looted from Motel 8s. The toilets are designed to flush the holy with the lest amount of water.

Neal Boortz, suggesting that a victim of Hurricane Katrina housed in an Atlanta hotel consider prostitution: "I dare say she could walk out of that hotel and walk 100 yards in either direction on Fulton Industrial Boulevard here in Atlanta and have a job. What's that? Well, no, no, no. ... Well, you know what? [laughing] Now that you mention it ... [i]f that's the only way she can take care of herself, it sure beats the hell out of sucking off the taxpayers." [Cox Radio Syndication's The Neal Boortz Show, 10/24/05]
Of course that means that her customers would have to be from the insanely rich, cause otherwise she’d be sucking off taxpayers.

Focus on the Family founder and chairman James C. Dobson: Same-sex marriage would lead to "marriage between daddies and little girls ... between a man and his donkey." [Focus on the Family radio program, 10/6/05]
I always suspect that Dobson didn’t the difference between boys and girls.

Accuracy in Media editor Cliff Kincaid: "Have you noticed that many news organizations, in honor of former ABC News anchorman Peter Jennings, have embarked on a quit smoking campaign? So why don't our media launch a campaign advising people to quit engaging in the dangerous and addictive homosexual lifestyle? ... It appears that the homosexual lifestyle is as addictive as smoking." [Accuracy in Media column, 12/14/05]
I’m shocked, I didn’t know that Peter was gay!


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